i wish my penis had a tongue
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
