I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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