lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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