i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
