and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
