Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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