I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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