You really coming over, don't trick.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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