Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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