Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i believe in u and ur pee
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
