The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
