guys are only as good as the porn they watch
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
