so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
