I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
