so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
