apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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