Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
