You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
