Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
