I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
