Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
