Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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