Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Ladies don't puke and tell
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