Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
