billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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