Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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