Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
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