Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
