He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Girls should come with a carfax report
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
