5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
