But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
