it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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