i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize