I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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