dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
