Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
