but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
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btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
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AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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