Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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