the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
