Even the bartender felt bad for me
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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