Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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