is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
