please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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