u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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