I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
