You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
