I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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