I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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