Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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