rhymes with "ouble enetration"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
two words...techno handjob
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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