Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
