Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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