Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
