her vagine was all disorganized.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
why do cheetos always look like penises
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
