This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
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other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
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Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize