would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
