but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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