i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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