I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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