mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
