Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
