i just google imaged poop.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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