Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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