what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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