If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
