Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
