Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
